How to Ruin a Love Song

     It seems like every other week there's a new song about love or relationships. Whether it's a club dance song about dancing with women in a club or a more intimate low key affair, the topics of love and relationships have served as very persistent fodder for music practically forever. When talking about songs about love and relationships, I've found the best ones (or at least the ones I respect the most) are ones which are genuine, heartfelt and caring on the part of the singer. Every time I listen to songs like this, I always judge them on three different criteria. Here are three standards I hold every song about love and relationships to, as well as how some songs manage to ruin that and become just unappealing to listen to.

1. Amount of Honesty/Meaning from the Singer

The first thing I always look for in a song is how much the singer sounds like they mean what they're saying. A dishonest-sounding singer is usually the easiest way for me to check out of a song. This is the reason why I don't go out of my way to listen to any song by One Direction. Nobody in that glorified boy band sounds like they mean what they say. I'm not saying they're simply out to seduce a girl to get in her pants or that they're bad people personally, but they don't sound like they genuinely love the girls they sing about. They more or less sound like they're just singing for the sake of singing and relying on their good looks to endear themselves to their audience. Honesty and meaning what you're singing can not only give new dimension to a song, but it also makes a song more endearing and the artist more interesting to listen to. That's why you can count me among the fans of songs like "Hello" by Lionel Richie and "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus. Both of these artists sound like they genuinely mean what they're singing and are invested in the message they're trying to get across. It also makes more tragic-sounding songs like "The One That Got Away" by Katy Perry sound all the more tragic because she sounds so sincere when she's singing it.

2. How Love is Depicted

If there's one thing that turns my stomach when listening to a love song, it's when a song presents an unrealistic depiction of love and what people do when in love. This means that if the song in question becomes popular, it stands to reason that some people will start to expect love to be like how it's presented in those songs. This leads to failed expectations, unrealistic standards and unnecessary heartbreak. That's why songs like "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" by Bryan Adams baffle me. This song was so popular in 1991 (#1 on Billboard Top 100 Songs of 1991), that I have to assume that people support the unrealistic standards of love and what people do for love presented in the song. Not only does Bryan Adams sound completely dishonest, but the song makes it sound like people would go to the ends of the earth to prove to someone that they love them, which is not how love works in real life. It can also ruin parts of a song such as "Glory of Love" by Peter Cetera because despite the respectable verses, Cetera's own lack of meaning in his singing and the stupid chorus (I am a man who will fight for your honor? Yeah right Cetera) ruin the song for me. This works better in songs like "I Would Do Anything For Love" by Meat Loaf because he sounds more sincere in his singing and bases the lyrics more in the reality (what IS happening vs. what could be happening) of his life. He also doesn't try to explain everything he would do for love and instead leaves much of it up to our imagination. Some might not like this, but I find it more tolerable than Bryan Adam's dishonest warbling. Also, passionate music goes a long way in helping a love song sound better.

3. How the Singer Approaches Relationships

I could devote an entire essay to this subject, but for now let me keep it simple. This standard is why I really don't genuinely enjoy any song by Taylor Swift. I know that a lot of people can relate to breakup songs and maybe even enjoy them, but Ms. Swift's breakup songs do nothing but say to me that despite being 24 years old, she is still in high school when it comes to relationships. Number of boyfriends aside, her songs about falling head over heels in love with the next guy of her dreams and then the heartbreaking life-ruining breakup grew old a long time ago and now has become desperate and sad (not in the good way). It's almost like she dates guys just so she can feel like she has a reason to write her songs. I wouldn't hate this as much if Ms. Swift's relationships actually amounted to something. At least Adele knows how to sing convincingly and make her songs hit harder in their meaning. Adele also has had far fewer song-worthy boyfriends, which makes her songs sound more meaningful and less juvenile. I heard enough of the hopeless teenage girl moaning about breakups when I was in high school, I don't need a 24 year old repeating it for me. What I'm trying to say is this, Taylor Swift trivializes the meaning of relationships and breakups while Adele presents a more heartfelt and meaningful lamentation of lost love.

There you have it, three criteria that can either make or break a song when it talks about love and relationships. These standards help me better articulate when a love-related song hits the mark or comes up short. These aren't universal standards, but they do work for me most of the time. Try thinking about these criteria the next time you listen to a song about love or relationships and see how it helps you analyze and decide if a song is good to you or not. Take care everyone!